Friday, December 25, 2009

Xmas Dinner Review

Via text...from Jeff...

"I don't think that you heard me
as I drove off in the night,
The meal was delish'
and the evening a delight!
The pork was amazing and oh!
what a duck!
The event overall
was funny as..."

Many thanks and much love to everyone who joined me on the Victorian Christmas Feast adventure!! Happy Holidays & a FABULOUS new year to all!!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Traditional Victorian S#@t!!


I have finalized my sanity-challenged Victorian dinner menu (sans goose--I was denied!):

Oysters
Liver Pate
Cheese & Crackers
Mini-caprese appetizers (NOT traditional)
Roasted Duck with Port Wine Sauce
Apple-stuffed Roasted Pork Loin
Roasted Brussels Sprouts in Cream & Butter
Sage & Onion Dressing
Mashed Potatoes
Macaroni & Cheese (NOT traditional--for kids)
Christmas Pudding with Hard Sauce (butter, sugar, rum, brandy & white wine) (Jeff will set on fire!)
Cranberries
Chocolate Ganache Cake (courtesy of Terri & her awesome cake ways!)
Shrub (traditional brandy & orange juice punch)
Kid punch
Eggnog
Wine
Soda

Last weekend Savannah & I boiled the pudding & mixed up the shrub. Today I will make the pate and cranberries.

It should be awesome--or an awesome story if all else fails!!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Buy Underwear! Underwear! Underwear!

Oh the traffic outside is frightful
But the sales are so delightful
And since we've no time to spare
Buy underwear! underwear! underwear!

It doesn't show signs of slowing
And the bills just keep on growing
Santa greets tots in his chair
Buy underwear! underwear! underwear!

The shops will close for the night
But I still have some treasures to find
I shall never win this Christmas fight
So I'll just have a drink (they won't mind!)

My patience is slowly dying
And yet, I am still buying
But until I've reached all I can bear
I'll buy underwear! underwear! underwear!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

A Joyful Noise


Last Friday nite I went to Darien's Holiday Piano Recital. As my eyes fought their way through a sea of balding dad heads, I was able to watch this boy--who I took care of for the first six months of his life, who would always stop crying when I sang "Hey Big Spender"--make beautiful music all by himself.

Terri & Jeff didn't have designs to make him play the piano. He just sat down at his grandparents' piano one day and showed a natural aptitude. I've listened to him practice on the Fridays I pick him up from school, and I've listened to him try and beg his way out of practicing.

In his tie and starched, white shirt, sitting at the piano and arranging his sheet music, he looks so grown up--and his face shows an expression of concentration and focus that I've rarely seen unless inspired by Disney or video games.

The thing about piano recitals is that you really only care about the kid you came to see--but you have to sit through all the other ones too.

Gabi's Holiday Choir Concert was tonite. She loves choir, and music is the one thing at school that feels right to her. Every time there is an audition for a solo, she tries out--sweaty palms, tummy aches, and other nerve-riddled side effects aside. And every time she doesn't get the part.

Until tonite.

Tonite Gabi had a solo in "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch." It was more of a comic, acting-type solo than a singing solo, but still it was hers--and she was perfect.

In fact, the choir as a whole was pretty darn close to perfect--it was the best they've ever sounded. Every song was pleasant to hear and entertaining.

A bonus that we were unaware of before we arrived (Gabi had a slew of supporters show up to cheer her on--thanks everyone, it meant the world to her!) was that the school orchestra AND band would also be playing. All in all there were 16 songs performed--and Gabi's choir was only six of them.

When Savannah was in the orchestra in Jr. High, I was always shocked to hear them play at their concerts. They weren't horrible. They were actually enjoyable most of the time--a phenomenon that never ceased to amaze me.

The program showed that Savannah's former orchestra teacher was now the teacher for BJH's orchestra (Savvi went to a different Jr. High). That gave me hope.

My hope was mislaid.

God love them, the kids and the teachers poured their hearts and souls into each number, but no one knew when to say when. Mrs. Kravanic forced these kids to play lengthy (I mean L E N G T H Y), lethargic, dissonant song after lengthy, lethargic, dissonant song.

As I was considering the sad circumstances (or mental disease) that drive one to become a Jr. High School music teacher, Savannah looked at me--revelation written all over her face--and said, "I think THIS is why I hate Christmas music."

I almost peed my pants.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Yes, [Insert Name], There IS a Santa Claus!

It's sort of insanely reassuring in an infuriating way that no matter how old my children get, they can still find ways to nitpick and nag and annoy one another mercilessly and with extreme prejudice.

Savannah's car overheated again and she needs to take the bus tomorrow. Gabi's been dreadfully sick and miserable for four days. Those things can make even the best of us grumpy, but tonite their disdain went into full bloom--each in the other's direction.

Christmas used to come with the fool-proof promise of effective threats that could be flung by me (at them) at will. With Santa quite clearly out of the equation, what weapon do I have?

Losing their belief in Santa Claus has resulted not in tearful nostalgia for young innocence lost, but in parental impotence at naughty behavior.

As they hurled snarky (and downright ridiculous) taunts (oozing sarcasm tinged with mean) at one another like the final match at Wimbledon, I could do nothing but pour a glass of wine and creep up the stairs to hide in the warm, soothing womb of my bathtub--where I wouldn't be able to hear their nastiness.

I want my tale of woe to be a warning to other parents: NEVER LET SANTA DIE!!

I know, I know--I got sick of the fat guy stealing all the credit for my hard work, empty bank account and awesome Christmas morning experience, too. But, believe me, it's all worth it when you can elicit a Pavlovian response from your children that results in pleasant attitudes and considerate behavior at the threat of losing their good standing with Kris Kringle.

Am I romanticizing things a bit? Maybe. But this one fact holds true: parents need things with which to threaten and terrify their children. Santa has proven one of the most effective ways to fulfill this need. Don't let your kids' belief wane before you have found an apt replacement.

It's never too late to use hollow threats and (let's just admit it) bribes to manipulate our children. After all, they are the future--we owe it to them to remain strong and deceitful (all in their best interest, of course) and indulgent. So, Fellow Parents--heed my call--keep Santa going as long as you can! After that, it's all up to us.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Naughty List

Marius put me on the Naughty List this year. After putting everyone else we know on the Nice List--I got relegated to the Naughty List. So, in honor of the occasion, I thought I'd come up with some of the top reasons why I may be on the Naughty List this year:

Bloglessness:
I have failed to make good on my "blog a day" proclamation. Friday and Saturday were entirely blogless. I have many reasons and excuses for why, but it's still naughty.

Felicidal Thoughts:
Casper is extra stir-crazy because of the weather. He sits and looks at me and whines. And whines. And whines. I fantasize about doing many, many evil things to him--most of them involving me throwing various implements at his head from across the room.

Road Rage:
Today as I drove up and down the SLC freeways--from Fruit Heights to Sugar House and back home--during the worst weather we've seen so far this year, I swore a blue-streak at the pompous, self-involved SUV-driving jackasses who think that a) the laws of physics couldn't possibly apply to them and b) that their asinine driving practices don't put everyone else on the road at risk. I hate them.

Holidays on Ice and You Better Not Cry:
Oh, and don't forget The Stupidest Angel. There's no heartwarming "Night Before Christmas" or "Polar Express" on my Christmas reading list. I relish the pithy, cynical take on the holidays as presented by my dear, dear favorites David Sedaris & Augusten Burroughs. Not only do these tales of yuletide woe and wonderment from the naked, dirty world of reality make me laugh out loud, but they pull at my little heartstrings as well--Augusten even drove me to wipe away a tear after something he said "got in my eye."

Lying to Little Children:
This may actually be a contributor to Marius' judgment. I have told him (and his brother Darien) a variety of untruths over the past year (all in good fun of course, and to motivate them to behave well, etc.). My favorite being that if they didn't start keeping their hands to themselves, I was going to chop them off. When they didn't believe me, Terri joined in and told them that their hands would be added to my collection. Now that we were in the zone, I decided to continue embellishing the tale. By the time we were finished, Savannah and Gabi were on their fourth or fifth pair of hands each: their current ones are robotic. If those boys didn't leave each other alone, they were going to become cyborgs just like my girls.

I'm sure that there are many other reasons for me being placed on the Naughty List, but those are the top ones that sprang to mind. Feel free to share your reasons for my Naughty List status or your arguments for why I might be able to slide onto the Nice List--there's still time for my fate to be changed!

Holly Jolly & all that Jazz! :)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

It's not for me...it's for a friend


Today I bought something I never thought I would buy.

I was talking to Shal on the phone when I found myself standing in front of the "as sold on TV" section at my neighborhood Wal-Mart (I KNOW!!!).

Shal is getting ready for her 3rd annual pervy Christmas party with her work colleague Jason. Every year he throws a bash and the featured attraction is who can bring the most disgustingly perverted and sexually deviant "white elephant" gift.

Last year I went shopping with her. We thought her gift (including certain anatomically correct lollipops and a very wrong edition of 'poetry' magnets) was hilarious and TOTALLY naughty--but it fell flat at the party, and she ended up taking it home because no one fully appreciated our tongue-in-cheek deviancy.

While Shal was bemoaning her fatigue in the face of yet another dirty holiday party gift exchange, I was struck with inspiration at the Wal-Mart Wall of TV-schlepped crap.

I suggested that she consider taking a gift that only sounds dirty, but really isn't. Hoping, once again, that the apparently mentally-challenged party guests would get the joke. I started naming off items.

"Smooth Away: Works Wonders on Sensitive Areas!"

"Ped Egg: Designed to Use Anywhere with No Mess!"

"Bumpits: From Flat to Fabulous in Seconds!"

Before I could continue, she stopped me, "Did you say Bumpits?"

"Yeah, Bumpits."

"They have Bumpits?"


(Now I was getting scared.)

"...Yeah...Why? Do you want one?"

"Actually, I do."


I almost dropped the phone.

"How much is it?"

Shal continued to explain that she wanted the Bumpits as a gag gift for another colleague at work. She also mentioned that she had been at another Wal-Mart earlier and hadn't seen the mind-bogglingly appealing Bumpits.

Needless to say, I offered to pick up the Bumpits for her. When I approached the cashier I felt like a kid buying condoms for the first time. Obvious, naked, and an object of lightly-veiled sniggering mixed with a slightly shameful jealousy.

As I handed my pink Bumpits box to the cashier I was overcome with the desire to blurt out, "It's not for me! It's for a friend!"

Amazingly, I held my tongue. I mean, come on--who would ever believe it?

Walking out of the store, pink box of shame secured within my giant purse, I called Shal.

"I've got your Bumpits in the bag."

Her exuberant laughter was my reward.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...


Today was mighty, mighty cold.

Tonite was even colder!

I took the opportunity to wear a pair of leggings under a pair of tights under a pair of knee socks under a pair of riding boots.

On top of all that I layered on a wool scarf, a velvet jacket, a knitted cap and cozy gloves.

Amazingly enough, I didn't end up looking like Frosty the Snowman--I retained my girlish figure!

Other than cuddling up under flannel sheets and down comforters (or snuggling next to a hot, crackling fire), I love layering on the warm, wooly, fuzzy, cozy, heavy layers and textures that are only really appropriate in atrociously freezing weather.

I like the feel of my scarf nuzzling my neck.

I like the smell of my gloves after getting a little bit too wet scraping off the car or throwing snowballs at my girlies.

I like that achingly subtle itch and relief after taking off my cap and giving my head a thorough scratch.

Then, after peeling off all of those layers, rubbing out my hair, and stripping down to my birthday suit...dipping that first toe into a hot, steamy tub and settling in for a nice candlelit soak with a hot chocolate or a glass of red wine.

Yes, the cold makes us contract and shiver and shake...but it gives us the best excuse to get close, layer up, and turn up the heat.

What more can you ask of a winter's day?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

For the first time in my life I am singing and smiling in the wake of a major dump of the fluffy white stuff.

Although I have lived in it all of my life (ALL. OF. MY. LIFE!) I have no real use for snow.

I don't like the cold. I don't like driving in it. I don't ski. Well, I did try downhill once (I basically flew down the mountain really fast & then crashed to stop) and cross country once (I'm just not in that good of shape--it's hard!), but I'm really more about looking cute and sipping a drink next to a fire.

I will go sledding (like, maybe once a year) and I dig ice skating--but is snow really necessary for that?

There are only two reasons that I have ever been happy to see snow: Christmas and when it covers up all the ugly left in the wake of Winter's cruel and unusual punishment of everything.

However, for some unknown reason, I am in a good mood that started a couple days ago and is still going strong--even in the face of my buried car, stir-crazy cats, and winter wear strewn across my living room, stairs, and dining room table.

I scraped off my car to go buy ice melter for the porch and sang a jolly tune as I worked away. I stepped carefully across ice (so much more slowly than my usual quick pace) and smiled at those I passed instead of muttering my impatience under my breath.

I even noticed the amazing sparkle in the snow dragged into my house on my boots and thought for a minute I must be hallucinating because the dazzle was SOOOOO dazzling.

Snow blindness is something I've heard of, and I must be experiencing it because I am actually grateful to see the snow today. The frigging freezing temps we've been having (with nothing to show for it) were beginning to get to me.

If I'm going to be freezing my ass off, I want something tangible to blame--and a bright, sunny, blue sky is not good enough. In fact, it's downright confusing. When Savannah was about three years old, one frigid, sunny day she burst out the front door in her bare feet and no coat as I watched her look of exultation melt into one of horror.

She didn't understand.

It was sunny. The sky was blue. How could it not be summer? She looked at me and, with an incredulous look on her face, said, "Has this ever happened before?"

Sadly, I explained to her that it had. And it would happen again. And again. And again.

But not today!

Today we got our reward for living in these gorgeous mountains--a healthy dose of Christmas Cheer dumped right on our doorstep from the heavens above.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Rock, Paper, Jesus



Since Christmas is the day we observe the birth of Jesus, then I thought it would be appropriate to commit at least one entry to Him that has nothing at all to do with the holiday.

Marius, my little friend who many of you may remember from Halloween (I'm not really Spiderman, either), is a seemingly unending source of quality blog fodder.

The other day he and his brother, Darien, were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. Marius is the kind of kid who always likes to win--and will bend the rules as needed to ensure his victory. Sometimes this passionate quest for glory ends in smiles and laughter, and other times it ends with violence and tears.

On the auspicious occasion of the game in question, Marius' determination to win was as vibrant as ever. After several turns of winning and several more of losing, he decided he had had enough.

Terri was half-way listening to the interminable rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors, when she heard something she didn't expect.

Darien and Marius were saying, in unison, "Rock...Paper..." and when it was time to reveal their weapon of choice and see who came out the victor, she heard Marius say (without a hint of mischief, if you can believe it!) "JESUS!"

When she asked him what he had said (just to make sure she had heard correctly--she had) and why he had said it, he told her "Jesus beats everything!"

Darien thought it was unfair, but Terri (Christian woman that she is) couldn't help her firstborn out this time--she had to agree with Marius' insightful (if devious) observation.

So many parts of me love this incident. I think of how many times in my life I've been playing a futile game and needed to cry out, "Jesus!" Foolishly enough, I have to admit that I probably don't pull that card as often as I should. But, every time I do--even after months (or years) of ignoring His willingness and eagerness to answer my call--I always win.

Fa la la la la...la la la la

(Okay--this is kind of a cheat, but my stupid Internet was freaking out last night, so I had to improvise. For those who saw this post last year, enjoy again--for those who did not, hope you like it!)

I love Christmas music. I like the jazzy, jaunty tunes by Bing and Ella and Andy Williams. I like the traditional carols, beautiful and reverent (although ALWAYS a bit too high for me at some point!) I like the Mickey's Christmas CD that my girls loved to hear over and over when they were little.

But this year, my most favorite type of Christmas music is a sub-genre that I've discovered: "Pervy Christmas Songs." And it is more pervasive than you might think (if you're listening for the right things, that is!) In the spirit of the season, I offer this gift to you--my top three Pervy Christmas Songs--for your enjoyment:

#3--Santa Claus Is Coming To Town: This classic children's favorite boasts among its famous lyrics, this key pervy line: "He sees you when you're sleeping/he knows when you're awake/he knows if you've been bad or good/so be good for goodness sake." I think that the Santa of this fine tune must have been the inspiration for the obsessed stalker in the Police song Every Breath You Take. And not only does this cheery tune boast advanced stalker imagery, but there is the lightly-veiled threat at the end about being good...or else.

#2--A Kiss A Toy from the 1970 animated TV classic "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town": Every year Gabi and I hold our own version of MST3K and make merciless fun of this ridiculously silly show. We impress ourselves with our ability to come up with new witty barbs each year and, of course, pull out our favorite insults from years past. ("You must not play with toys children, you must play with fire!" --Gabi) But the piece de resistance of this entire production is the song Good Ol' St. Nick sings to the sad children of SomberTown. "If you sit on my lap today/a kiss a toy is the price you'll pay/when you tell what you wish for in a whisper/be prepared to pay/so give a little love/get a little love back/" Do I really need to say anything more?

#1--Baby, It's Cold Outside: Don't get me wrong--I LOVE this song. It's one of my favorites. However, it has become impossible for me to listen to the persuasive insistence of the "gentleman" without thinking of it as the consummate date-rape song. The more the woman insists on leaving, the more he pushes her to go against her own wishes. He offers her booze, the threat of freezing to death, and pushes her to feel guilty with lines like "How can you do this thing to me?" It's a textbook example of how to NOT take no for an answer.

So, at this most WONDERFUL time of the year, take a few moments to lend a different kind of ear to your favorite tunes and see what fun discoveries (and perversions) you can discover!Happy Holidays!!! :)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Deck the Halls!





Today we Christmased up the place.

I love decorating for Christmas. I always have.

I remember hounding my mother to let us decorate the house. She was always reluctant, but I loved to be able to mine for holiday treasures. No matter how many times I came across the ice cream cone ornament I made in second grade or the rocking horse I got from Japanese business men my dad had entertained for work one year, I delighted at the sight of them again and again.

It was like drinking something really bubbly and feeling those bubbles travel across my tongue, down my throat, past my heart and finally settling somewhere near my belly button.

I still have that same feeling when I unpack the Christmas garb that my girls and I have collected over the years.

This year everything is kind of awesomely tragic for me. It's Savannah's last legally-obligated year to live with me, decorate the house with me, be home for Christmas. As I looked at the different ornaments and pictures from the Ghost of Christmas Past that I like to display every year, I couldn't help but feel the tug of times a-changing.

After my divorce I decided that we needed a new Christmas tradition that wouldn't leave us hemorrhaging from the gaping hole where our former family structure used to be. Since the tree had always been a pretty significant part of our Christmas ritual, that's where I focused my attention.

I thought it would be cool to get everyone their own, personal Christmas tree. I had seen darling, potted Norfolk Pines at the grocery store and wanted to get three of those instead of one big tree. After a little convincing (and bribing them with new lights, garland, etc.) the girls were on board.

When we got home from picking out our trees and decorations Gabi, in all her innocent excitement, proclaimed, "This is better than when Dad was here!" It broke my heart.

Since that first year of multiple trees, we have alternated between one big tree and three small ones. This year, we went with the little ones. Savannah and I decorated ours today--Gabi is going to get to hers when she doesn't have a better offer to occupy her time and attention.

Now, I'm sitting in the glow of Christmas lights, listening to holiday tunes by Frank, Bing and Ella, and I feel those same, familiar bubbles traveling downward to tickle my belly button.

Please Put a Penny in the Old Man's Hat...

Savannah has adopted Jesus this Christmas.

She figures this makes her the Virgin Mary.

At Weber State the Salvation Army put up an Angel Tree, and Savannah (after perusing the names of the children hoping for an "Angel" this Christmas) couldn't resist the appeal of 14 year-old Jesus (we know it's 'Hey-seuss' but the correlation is irresistible!) who wanted a remote control helicopter and needed winter clothes.

Savannah snatched Jesus off the Angel Tree and went straight to Toys R Us to answer his Christmas wish for a helicopter. The helicopter tapped out her unemployed high school senior budget, so she decided to ask for contributions to get Jesus a winter coat.

I decided that there was room in the figurative inn of my Christmas budget to take in Jesus.

Savannah and I went to look for a coat. I had doubts about whether a coat actually fulfilled the requirements of "winter clothes." I felt that if he already had a coat, another would be useless to him--but jeans and a sweatshirt are something a teenager can always use more of.

After listening to my brilliant argument in favor of actual clothes to meet the need of winter clothes, she agreed.

That was the easy part.

It is difficult enough to pick out clothes for teenagers that you live with daily (Gabi) let alone guess what some unknown Jesus would think was cool. We didn't want to give him clothes that he would feel foolish to wear--or worse, would NEVER wear!

We didn't want to give clothes that seemed like they were for someone who was "needy." We didn't want them to seem stereotypically picked for a kid named Jesus, either.

This was tricky.

After ruling out most of the clothes we came across ("Grey is too depressing." "That's totally a skater shirt--what if he isn't a skater?" "It's a football team, I don't even believe in football!"), we finally settled on a pair of distressed, relaxed-fit jeans--they even came with a belt--a red hoody that was a skate brand, but not overbearingly skate-ish, a grey thermal shirt with a cool design on the chest, socks & gloves.

We felt pretty proud of our outfit and were sure that Jesus would be proud to don this gay apparel come Christmas day.

Then we showed Gabi.

She was hiding her smirk behind her hand.

"What?"

"Those pants are...different."

This from a girl who only wears skinny jeans--and I mean skinny. Apparently, from where she's sitting in her skin-tight legwear, it looks like everyone else is buttering up their legs and jumping off the roof to get into their pants too.

I believe that skinny jeans are a lifestyle choice--and one that no one else can make for you.

Savannah delivered the goods to the keepers of the Angel Tree, and we'll never know if Jesus digs his new duds or not. But I kind of think he will.

Savannah is a girl whom I worried about in her younger years. I was afraid she was becoming a consumerist monster. She got everything she ever wanted, and didn't seem thankful for any of it. She would tear through the packages, give the gift a cursory glance, push it to the side and ask, "Next?"

For that little chica to have grown into a young woman willing to spend all her extra cash on a remote control helicopter for a kid who has it worse off than her, I have to believe in miracles.

And she's spreading the love this year--making Christmas a little bit merrier for a teenage boy who will get the toy he really wanted and an outfit that will not only be warm, but (hopefully) something he can wear proudly.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Goose is Getting Fat

I have a wild hair up my arse about creating a traditional, Victorian English Christmas dinner this year.

The cornerstone of this fantasy dinner should be a goose; however, I have found that finding a goose ain't that easy. I can get one online for around $105 plus shipping, and Terri found a frozen one at Target for $50. This seems like a big investment for something I'm not sure will even taste good.

My mom suggested that I find a hunter. She cooked goose one year and the bird was able to grace our table courtesy of her boyfriend at the time who had shot it himself.

Considering my friends and acquaintances, I quickly deduced that I was unlikely to find a hunter to provide my holiday goose.

Then a Christmas miracle happened.

I was working on a project with another consultant at work, and she informed me that her husband was gone for a week. When I asked her why, she said that he was hunting geese in Montana.

"Really?" I asked. "Geese?"

"Yes, do you want one?" she answered.

As I eagerly confirmed that I did, indeed, want one, it slowly dawned on me that if her husband was to deliver a goose to me I would have to deal with it: feathers, innards, head.

Was I that committed to my idea of a traditional, Victorian feast? Did I have the stomach for it? Part of me instantly felt certain that I could--and WOULD--do it. I would be amazingly, mind-bogglingly, genuinely triumphant in my quest to take an actual animal and turn it into something served beautifully on a festive platter.

Then I thought about it some more.

I started determining who I knew that could do the dastardly deed for me and return the bird to me looking more like food and less like wildlife. I made plans to ask for a second goose from the husband so that I could use it to barter my way out of de-feathering the thing myself. I began calculating how I could come up with the money I previously eschewed spending on the gamble of a goose in order to pay someone to de-goosify the goose.

Even without me doing the hard work, this goose quest was turning out to be quite a pain in my stubborn, determined arse. In the bright light of freshly-hunted bird reality I don't know what I'll do if I actually get a dead bird delivered to me. But I'm pretty sure it will be memorable--and, hopefully, tasty.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Christmas is Coming...


December is finally upon us (actually, it came amazingly quickly this year) and I can now launch unabashedly into the holiday season—belting out jaunty Christmas tunes and swigging back the eggnog, wassail, or other festive beverage to which copious amounts of alcohol can be added!

My darling daughter jump-started my Scrooge-after-the –ghosts enthusiasm with her naked, heartfelt confession of love and gratitude at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

We were able to spend this Thanksgiving with our urban family at LaRiesse’s condo at the Gaystone. Thanks to her girlfriend Michele (whom Terri has aptly dubbed the Martha Stewart of lesbians), we were all able to sit down together at one long table—and there was even a butter dish! (you had to be there)


As we started to dig into the hodge-podge collection of traditional and non-traditional fare (sushi, bourbon sweet potatoes, ham, risotto & funeral potatoes) Shalamar suggested that we go around the table and have each person share what they were thankful for this year.

It went along smoothly, humorously, and sincerely—and then there was Gabi. She brought the table to tears.


She decided to say what she was grateful for about each person at the table. Jeff was seated to her left and she started with him.


“I’m thankful for Jeff because he is like a dad to me when my dad isn’t there.”

She went on from there and said equally wonderful things about everyone; however, as I recall this a week later (with tears glistening in my eyes) that’s where my heart—and my memory—stops.


(I will be posting a blog a day until Christmas—so don’t forget to check back or subscribe!)