The Fat Bastards Club

A new year (hell, a new DECADE) has dawned and once again most of us have found ourselves running around the revolving door of goals, resolutions, and what have you. And, like Buddy the Elf, we often end up overdoing it and hurling those well-intentioned resolutions into the nearest trash can as soon as that revolving door stops.

In order to avoid the nasty after-taste of regurgitated resolutions my friends and I have decided to declare our goals (well, some of them) to the masses via this blog.

Like most Americans, our top priorities for the new year center on how drop-dead gorgeous we want to be. The first step in that quest is, of course, weight loss.

I know, I know! But we are as shallow and vain as the rest of you (and don't pretend you're not!).

Therefore, the Fat Bastards Club has been called into existence, with each of us proclaiming for ourselves, "Hello. My name's Becky and I'm a Fat Bastard. It's been 29 years since my last confession. (Wait. That's wrong. Flashbacks to my roots in Catholicism. Let's try again.)

"Hello. My name's Becky and I'm a Fat Bastard. I have a disproportionately fat-looking round face that makes me look (in pictures) like I weigh 30 pounds more than I do and I want to lose 10 pounds to see if that reduces the impact of my fat face--for photographic purposes only (riiiiiight)."

After we had all made our confessions, er, rather, declarations, we realized that among us (there's 6 in all) we have at least (AT LEAST!) two whole people to lose in order to reach our collective weight loss goal.

I'm a little fuzzy on the exact number, but it weighs in at around 270 pounds. WOW!

I don't know about the rest of my Fat Bastard compatriots, but I have not started off well. You see, I've been sick and everyone knows that you need to listen to what your body craves when you're sick, right? The good news is that for the first three days of my illness I had no appetite (score!) but yesterday it came back--with a vengeance. So, after my comfort foods of popcorn, Reese's Pieces, chicken pot pie and Frito's with bean dip, I think it's pretty safe to say that my three-day fast is now null and void.

Here's to the start of a new week and my promise to post weekly updates on the progress of our Fat Bastards Club as we embark on one of the least original and most challenging of resolutions: losing our fat asses in 2010.