Open Casting

Following lantern-related and other adventures in idiocy, I finally have power and a somewhat unpacked living environment. But enough about the boring everyday-life details...on to the dating update!

My eHarmony Bachelorette train has lost some steam. Bachelor #1 seems to have felt the same "not quite right" vibe, and hasn't been heard from since Date #2. It's really so nice to not have to do any overt rejecting, etc. I have a pretty good track record for giving off enough subtle hints that the other person--whether potential amour or slacker employee--will make the choice to opt out before I have to do the dumping (or the firing).

I have grown quite fond of the idea of developing things with Bachelor #2. After our Mother's Day date, he texted me flirtatiously on Monday and again on Tuesday--then nothing. Against my will, I found myself checking for a message. I started to question what could have gone wrong. I began to replay the events of Sunday nite and even re-read our last text communication for signs of where things went awry. I wanted to act like I didn't care, but I really wanted to hear from him.

Holding auditions for the part of my love interest is a time consuming and exhaustive process. I had already given Bachelor #2 a call-back. It would only take one more date to have me considering offering him the role--at least on a trial basis. But I was suddenly in a black hole of doubt, uncertainty and silence. Worst of all, I was facing the possibility of having to start all over.

His birthday was Wednesday or Thursday, so I texted him a "Happy Birthday" in what I hoped was a very casual--but still cute and subtly appealing--manner. (It takes so much thought, review and calculation to be nonchalant but available--removed but engaged--attractive but not trying too hard.)

On Friday, while packing up and cleaning my former residence, my phone chimed--letting me know I had just received a text message. It could be from either of my daughters, Terri or any number of other people. But it wasn't. It was from Bachelor #2. He apologized for his delayed response and explained that some parental issues had arisen with his oldest and, subsequently, been monopolizing his time. He asked if he could explain on Saturday. I replied that it was no problem, I understood, and hoped everything was okay.

I didn't hear from him again until Sunday afternoon--when I got more details about the situation, but no hint as to when or if he wanted to get together again. Being a parent, I know that crisis with my kids would always take first priority, but I still felt a pang of disappointment.

I decided to let him know that I would love to see him again when things calm down, and leave it at that. Give him his space and see what happens. The stupid-girl part of me tends to obsess and imagine that he is just putting me off with convenient and totally acceptable "excuses" instead of just letting me know that: A)He has met someone else who is the love of his life and soul mate; B)I did something that freaked him out and totally turned him off; C)He's just not that into me (so hard to believe, I know, but I MUST consider every possibility!); or D) He was afraid I'd ask him to help me move.

Whenever I take a trip down this irrational trail, I instantly feel guilty and stupid. Guilty because I really don't think he'd use a kid trauma/drama to avoid me--and even considering that for a fraction of a second makes me a ridiculous, slightly crazy and cruel person that he wouldn't be interested in, in the first place! Stupid because I'm exerting this much energy and thought on a guy--and to make matters worse, it's a guy I've only seen three times (despite all of my efforts to avoid it--I end up being a silly girl)!

So...I find myself back to open casting. The role of my love interest is still wide open and a new round of auditions must be held (although I secretly hope that Bachelor #2 is still interested in the role and will let me know soon). Back to the eHarmony drawing board--or casting couch...stay tuned for a new round of Bachelors!