21 Days to Go - A Look at My Loinfruits & Me

One of the reasons I love "Gilmore Girls" so much is because my kids love it. Savannah was the one who discovered it and brought it into our lives and Tyler and I fell hopelessly in love right along with her. We got it. We related to it. We wanted to be as close and sassy and sarcastic and caffeinated as Lorelai and Rory - and we've done pretty damn good. We are each others' lifeboats just as they are, so in honor of the awesomeness of fierce, fantastic family, here's a glimpse at us through the years...

Day #21 - Gilmore Girls Words to Live By

"We're almost there, but nowhere near it.

All that matters is that we're going."

Things I Can't Stand About Lorelai Gilmore

I used to gush about Lorelai and wish I had the same cool-mom cred, but after my recent re-viewing of all seven seasons, I feel a bit differently. I still love momma Gilmore, but along with my previous placement of her at the cool kids' table, I also think she'd be right at home in "Heathers" or leading the Plastics.

In the pursuit of fairness, (and in response to my own list of things I love about her) here's a look at the things I really don't like about Ms. Gilmore.

1. She's super self-involved.
Lorelai seems like a great gal to have on your side - and I think that's mostly true. As long as whatever you have going on doesn't interfere in any way with her personal drama du jour. Whether's it's the baptism of Sookie's babies or the death of Michel's beloved Chin-Chin, Lorelai has a very hard time looking past her own feels to give any real compassion and/or empathy to those who give it to her on the regular.
Best examples:

• Giving a magazine interview that publicly skewers her mother without any thought about the fallout. 
• Obsessing about the wedding date she didn't cancel instead of trying to understand how much April rocked Luke's world - she's the last person who should throw a fit because someone wants to put their kid first (especially after missing out on the first 12 years!).
• Every time she treats Sookie like her personal assistant instead of her best friend.

2. She's often more a friend than a mother.
This is one of the things that, at first, makes her seem like a cool mom. However, in my book (and as I told my own kidlets repeatedly), being a mom isn't about being friends. It's about keeping them alive and helping them become self-sufficient, happy adults who contribute to the world in which they live. I'm not saying that Lorelai didn't do that, but she was often more into being besties that she came off like a big sister instead of the grownup in charge.
Best examples:

• Helping Lane and Rory lie to Mrs. Kim - no matter how cray-cray Mrs. Kim could be, that's not mom behavior.
• The constant complaining about and belittling of her own parents - what kind of example is that (and where's the gratitude)?
• Ganging up on the poor ballerina with Rory.

3. She sticks her nose where it doesn't belong.
Lorelai has an opinion about every little thing, and she (in her own mind) is pretty much always right. She speaks her mind freely and with very little (if any) self-editing. Sometimes that's endearing, but often it just made everything worse. She wants us to think she is the big, independent voice of reason who dares to say what everyone else is thinking, but usually she's just getting too involved in drama of which she needs no part.
Best examples: 

• Confronting April's mom after the slumber party without running it by Luke, or even checking with April. Not cool.
• Every single "if you hurt my daughter" conversation she had with Rory's various boyfriends. In fact, nearly every private convo with Rory's paramours was cringe-worthy and over the line.

4. She's unforgiving.
Oh. My God. Lorelai has a LONG memory and she never forgives and forgets - especially when it comes to her parents. She is still angry at them for trying to protect her as a kid and provide her with a life of privilege and opportunity. They'd never had a daughter who got pregnant at 16 before, and they didn't know how to handle it, but they didn't throw her out as many real-life people do. Yes, Richard and Emily know how to go overboard, be controlling and play the same grudge game, but she never learns to put her pride aside for the greater good. Lorelai even freezes Rory out when she goes to her grandparents for help.
Best examples:

• Every time she reignites her years-old resentment and hurt because her mom looks at her funny.
• Not inviting her parents to her college graduation.
• Hiding her engagement to Luke from her mom.

5. She wears tiny scarves.
Seriously - what's up with those baby scarves?


6. She's immature.
The longer I watched Lorelai run around and around (and around) in the same circles with her parents, her love life and even her daughter, the more she seemed like the same clueless, frightened 16-year-old kid who got knocked up. Sure, she became a successful business owner, but her tantrums, fits and endless grudges became tiresome. No matter how much Lorelai is lauded as the cool mom to end all cool moms, she still mostly does exactly what she wants to do - consequences be damned!
Best examples: 

• Marrying Christopher and hiding it from Rory. Seriously?!?!
• Sleeping with Christopher after blindsiding Luke with an ultimatum (did anyone else feel like she was just making up a reason to fuck this one up?)

(Is it any coincidence that both of these involve Christopher, the deadbeat, douchebag boy wonder? GAG!)


7. She keeps sleeping with Christopher.
OMG - I can't even.


8. She's afraid of intimacy.
Unless it's getting it on with Christopher, this gal can't run fast enough from anything resembling intimacy. Every time she gets the chance to be close with someone - whether her parents or a love interest - she hits the road (justified self-righteous reason in hand).
Best example:

• Leaving Max high and dry. SMH

9. She never seems to pay for food or coffee at Luke's.
Maybe this is just a personal pet peeve, but as an independent business owner, she must know how her constant leeching affects Luke. Sometimes we should still pay for our coffee - even if batting our eyes and flirting can help us get it for free.


10. She won't give her own mother a break.
This entry may seem superfluous as it is interwoven through so many of the others, but I really think it goes too far. Of course Emily makes it easy for Lorelai to push her away, but if Lorelai would just put her ego and wounded pride aside for one moment and really listen to her mother (followed by really talking to her mother) I think this relationship could take leaps ahead in short order. Lorelai needs to see Emily through a mother's eyes - it would make all the difference.

Being a mom made me see my mother with completely new eyes. And those new eyes had sympathy, compassion and a level of understanding I never knew before. It doesn't mean I think my mom did everything right, but I know that she did what she thought was right because she loved me. And, really, that's all any of us can do.


Love her or hate her, at the end of the day, it's the extremes of Lorelai that make her a character that we just can't get enough of. And I totally have to admit that her awfulness is part of her overall charm - after all, we're all pretty awful sometimes.

Day #22 - "Gilmore Girls" Words to Live By

"I can be flexible, as long as everything is exactly the way I want it, 

I'm totally flexible."

Day 23 - Not a Blog

Truth be told, it was me who was particularly stupid today, but I took on some extra assignments and totally forgot about another article that was due yesterday! So, needless to say my writing brain is tapped out. In the meantime, enjoy Michel's Gilmore Girls Words to Live By - Day 23.

I Smell Snow

Much to the delight of our beloved Lorelai, we received the first major snowfall of the season today. And, in its honor, I'm changing up my planned post to explore the magic, the wonder, the mystery — and misery — of this seasonal miracle.

My best friend, Terri, doesn't have much in common with Lorelai Gilmore, but one thing that they both adore to a disturbing extent is snow. And they're both a little witchy about it. Lorelai can smell it coming and Terri beckons it with a little penguin totem that sits on her front porch wielding a banner that says, "Let it Snow." 

Terri can also make snow appear — and stay — through reading material. When she was reading the "Twilight" series it rained all summer long (and we live in a desert). Although that's not snow, the same principle applies. She is a witchy, witchy woman and, if she had her way, she'd pull an Elsa and put us in perpetual winter.

I, on the other hand, am not a lover of snow. In fact, I have hated it most of my life. But, in recent years, my resistance to the wet, fluffy, white stuff has started to wane. Don't get me wrong, I'm not even close to loving it Lorelei-style, but I'm beginning to see the allure.

Snow Is Magical
Whenever Lorelai talks about snow, the word magic isn't far behind. She craves the magic so much that she continually freezes out her loved ones — opening windows and dragging them out of bed — to get just one more whiff of that magical snow air. Lorelai says that all the best things in her life have happened in the snow — her best birthday, her daughter's first steps. She views it as a promise of good, unexpected things to come — and I think Terri does the same.

As I've started to look at snow as more than a huge pain in my ass that makes me cold, wet and possibly stuck somewhere getting colder and wetter, I think I'm beginning to understand the magic. At first I just equated that little tingle with the holidays. I've always loved a white Christmas. But that was about all the snow I was willing to take. The week before and the week following Christmas should be snow-filled. But the rest of the year? Forget it. 

Today, however, I looked at the brilliant blanket of white covering the world and felt a little bit of the Terri & Lorelai magic. I felt excited (and possibly delusional). I voluntarily donned my coat, hat, boots and mittens and went outside to shovel the snow — even though I have someone to do that for me.

The snow transforms my barren garden and naked trees into things of beauty. It makes our old dog act like a puppy. It slows everything down and makes the world quiet. Peaceful. Still. A world covered in snow almost feels like a secret. Like anything is possible.

Snow Is Miserable
After my jolly jaunt into the great, white world I became re-acquainted with why snow has never been my one true love. I was a dripping pile of wet — wet hat, wet mittens, wet coat, wet boots. My challenge was to get everything off and in a position to dry without spreading the cold, wet mess throughout my entire house.

Unfortunately, I went in through the back door, but needed to get to the front door to take off my boots. I considered taking them off in the kitchen, but in my efforts to un-drip myself I had pretty much already made the surrounding area around my feet wet. Any attempt to situate myself somewhere else in the kitchen would only lead to more puddles. 

I rested my sopped hat on a barstool over a vent and left a trail of wet footprints and drips across the kitchen to discard my boots and coat in the front entryway. Once everything was hung up I dutifully wiped down the kitchen floor to erase the scene of the crime. However, the more I worked on the floor, the worse it seemed to get. I realized I had enough wet dog prints on the floor that you'd think I ran a kennel. And then I got a good, strong whiff of that wet dog smell. My favorite.

And, once everything was clean and smelling better I looked outside to admire my work only to find it all covered once more in the beautiful, magical, promising (taunting) blanket of unending snow falling from the sky. The snow would always win. Always be one flake ahead of me. I couldn't conquer, control or influence it in any way. Unless having it melt all over me, the dog, and my house when I come inside counts.

I was about to berate myself for giving up so easily on the wonder of snow, and then I remembered Lorelei's falling out with the white stuff. After her magical midnite viewing of the first snow, she woke up to find her jeep frozen, buried and then attacked by a fallen branch that could no longer hold the weight of the wonderful snow. And this tried-and-true snow devotee took it personally — she literally tried to inflict pain on the snow as she dug out her car. 

If snow and all of its dastardly treachery could tear down a true believer like Lorelai, then I shouldn't feel bad for quickly returning to my own natural state, which prefers to be snow-free.

Whether you're a snow lover or a snow leaver, there's no denying that there is something special about those goddamned falling flakes. I may not yet be a true convert to the snow-loving ways of Terri and Lorelai, but I'm closer than ever before. And, as long as it gives me a great excuse to cozy up in front of the fire with a glass of wine, I'll keep giving it the old college try.

Day #24 Gilmore Girls Words to Live By

“I smell snow...it’s just my favorite time of the year. The whole world changes color. 

Flakes, flurries, swirls, crystals — whatever form it comes in, I’ll take it. 

We go back, snow and me — we have a beautiful history. 

Sleigh rides, ice skating, snow ball fights I’ll even take curling...

Hot cocoa, hot toddies - it’s the best time of the year."