Thursday, September 30, 2010

10 Things I Hate About Miley Cyrus


DISCLAIMER: This post originally appeared on my Wasatch Woman magazine blog in April 2009, but the subject came up again the other day, and I felt it was time to re-visit this ever-so-entertaining topic! Keep in mind that a few of the points below may be outdated, but have no fear that an update is sure to follow soon! Feel free to share the reasons you hate Miley Cyrus & they just may be featured on a future post! Enjoy!

So this may be a totally self-indulgent bottom of the barrel type of entry, but with the impending release of the Hannah Montana Movie (didn't we already have one of those?) I can no longer bite my tongue.

1. The Hannah Montana Movie: Not only has there already been a movie (oh right, that was a movie-fied CONCERT) in theatres last year, but every other commercial on EVERY channel is for this cloyingly desperate attempt at a meaningful, coming-of-age, self-discovery movie about a Disney-made, no-talent, completely not normal teen.

2. Her "voice:" I don't know about most "tween-age" kids out there, but I just don't think this girl can sing--yell and prance around, DEFINITELY--sing? Not so much!

3. Her accent: To me she just sounds like a backwoods hick. I don't find it endearing--or even bearable.

4. It's Still A Felony! To steal one of the funniest lines ever to come out of The Soup, her relationship with a MAN over 20 whom her parents allow to LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE is disgusting. This is America's Sweetheart? I don't think so...and by the way, it IS still a felony!

5. Her memoir: Are you kidding me? This chica just barely turned 16--what does she have to memoir about? I condemn her, the publisher, and anyone who is misled enough to actually buy this book and further contribute to the cult of Miley, which is already more powerful than ten powerful things.

6. Her TV show: Since it's appearance on the Disney Channel, I have disliked Hannah Montana. I wanted to give it a try; after all my kids liked it and I wanted to root for Billy Ray (I mean, I was around for the original mullet!). HOWEVER, I found her insipid and annoying from the beginning. What I do grudgingly admire is Billy Ray's business acumen and ability to pad a fat bank account on the back of his daughter.

7. Her charity work: Oh that's right--I don't know of any! Of all the young starlets out there making bank and living the high life, she is the one most noticably devoid of any charitable or philanthropic cause. Demi Lavatto and Selena Gomez are well-known for the causes they are passionate about. Even if Miley has done something good for the world--with all the press she gets, I shouldn't have to dig for it.

8. The wig: Nuff said!

9. Her mouth: I'm not sure if it's the lips or the teeth or just the way she smiles, but her mouth makes me cringe.

10. She makes me fear that Disney may really be evil: The fact that such a powerful force 100% created by the Disney company can be unleashed on the world with little to no positive impact or image for young girls scares me to death. No, she's not Lindsay Lohan, but she's not sweetness and light either. Her YouTube and MySpace postings, her statutory rape relationship that her parents approve of, her lack of communty and world-wide involvement...these are not the makings of a feel-good Disney classic. Sorry.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Not so orange crush

I am totally crushing on a bartender.

I know.

That sounds totally obvious.

I mean--ME--swooning over the one who serves me lovely spiritous libations...it's SUCH a stretch.

But it's more than that.

He's a totally CUTE guy with awesome biceps and pecs who serves me lovely spiritous libations.

And he serves them with a smile. And a little conversation...or a little MORE conversation--at least tonite.

I find myself wondering about the meaning of this comment or that look--I feel like I'm in 7th grade!

I know it's silly and most likely futile.

But it's fun and it make me smile.

That's worth something, right?