Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Tiny Triumphs

Last nite I was brave enough to weigh myself. I was avoiding it because I have lost 16 pounds and know the main reason is stress. But then the PMS hit, and I started rummaging through the leftover Halloween candy that had not been even slightly tempting to me before. And there was cheese. And bread. So, I was afraid that I had gained back that hard-earned stress weight loss. Because, after all, stress is not a very maintainable way to drop pounds.

So, I kicked the discarded clothes to the side and approached the previously buried scale. I stepped on. I waited. I took a deep breath, and looked down. It was exactly the same!! My PMS craving indulgence had not cost me any of my precious stress-related weight loss! Woo-hoo!! I smiled. I bounced off the scale and lowered myself into the hot bath and sat back quite contented and pleased. At that moment, regardless of what else was working or not in my life, I felt a thrill of victory for that tiny triumph.

And I felt even better to know that such a tiny triumph could bring me such a sense of well-being. Because, at times, it seems that we are so far away from feeling good that we don't know what it would take to get us back there. It only took one small thrill of joy, contentment, satisfaction to remember that place and to know that I was fully capable of living there again. For a few moments, without any trying, I was not worried. Did not feel anxiety. Was not calculating the balance of my bank account, or fretting over the state of my job search. A completely silly and (yes) superficial thing had jolted me out of my quagmire. It was a light at the end of my proverbial tunnel. It was confirmation that I was okay. That I would be okay. And--hey--if nothing else, I'll be a skinny, worried, unemployed mess, and that ain't too bad!

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