...like a compact, brunette, teenage dynamo (that I spawned.) Tonite there was a line drawn in the sand. A line about grades, and accountability, and (yikes!) being grounded until aforementioned issues are improved. Now I am being punished. And I was informed that such punishment would not abate until said restrictions are lifted. This is one part about the whole grounding thing that I have always hated. It is not just a punishment for the child--it is a prison sentence for the entire family. If one of us suffers, ALL of us will suffer. The "one" will make sure.
But there is no stronger weapon in my arsenal. Not right now. Not with this one. This one is determined. Smart. Willful. Strong. She is the girl who lied repeatedly about lying when she was five. She lied in the face of the evidence of her lie. She lied after being berated. She lied after being put in the longest time-out in the history of time-out. She lied after Dad was brought in. She lied even when nothing she did changed her circumstances or our minds. She was never going to surrender. No matter what. And neither was I.
We are at an impasse, she and I. It may last as long as this battle. It may last throughout the teenage years. It may last into the early twenties. But, as I have sworn to my daughter multiple times, I will persist. I will love her when she can't stand me. I will love her when she is so angry she could spit nails. I will love her through hating school, hating life, hating the hating. And I will love her enough to do what makes her angry, what challenges her doubts, what pushes her to be more than she expects. I will stubbornly love her just as she stubbornly fights to be her own person. And we will each come out better for it.