Thursday, February 3, 2011

who i'm sleeping with lately...

my bed has become quite full as of late. full in a way i never expected. every morning i wake up tangled in the sheets and surrounded by my three persistent bedmates: my iphone, kindle and netbook.

yes. i have become a technology whore in bed.

but i have my insomnia to blame more than anything. my long-standing feud with sleep has hit a particularly rough patch again. not only am i unable to sink into the gentle arms of slumber, but those incessant voices in my head will not shut the hell up!

hence, the electronics menage a trois (or quatre) taking place in bed nightly.

i like to listen to my violin features station on pandora in an effort to soothe the savage beast. then i will play some spider solitaire until my vision starts to blur. at that point, i will pick up the kindle and read. sometimes i get a little crazy and read before i play solitaire...y'know, to keep it fresh. and sometimes i'm typing this very blog (or any number of un-published ramblings) instead of reading or playing.

when i'm not snuggling up to my gadgets, i'm settling down with bobby goren, sam & dean winchester, aragorn, maximus and harry potter. these fellas are highly successful at lulling me into such a wonderful sense of comfort and familiarity that before i can even notice, i may be asleep.

i know, i know! i have already heard all of your recommendations about better ways to fall asleep and protestations against why my habits are counter-intuitive to a desire to slumber. let me take this opportunity to assure you that i have tried all the "correct" ways to induce a sound nite's sleep--and what i end up with is a frustrated cycle of unending stops and starts and futile conversations with myself about relaxing, meditating, letting go, sleeping, not sleeping, that unfortunately-placed itch that i have to scratch, what i'm going to wear tomorrow, that bill i forgot to pay, the workout i need to start, the pain in my neck (really--there's an actual pain in my neck!), what time is it?, how many hours until i have to get up?, crap! now all i can think about is that i'm not sleeping...and it goes on.

over the years (actually two decades) that i have battled the ugly monster of insomnia, i have learned that the best way to get myself to sleep is to trick myself into it. that's why i have stimuli that can distract my unending inner-monologue, self-examination and sleep (or non-sleep) obsessiveness long enough for the sandman to sneak on in and do his magic.

i know it's not perfect, but at least i'm not (not) sleeping alone.


Cindy said...

oy - I have insomnia too. comes in handy if you have too much work and not enough hours to do it. Sure you can relate :-)

Terri said...

Love it! My fav in awhile. :)

Bob said...

you always seem to sleep OK in Park City... :o)

Mom said...

I guess that's the one thing you inherited from your mom. Sorry.